


Back In School

by TheTempis



Category: Dice funk
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, Bonus Rolen & Zoey & Veltari chapter, Cyldiel is a gradeschool teacher, Gen, Joan is a Principal, Zoey is tired but she's gonna be okay, and more - Freeform, background Drop Goodwood, children engaged in a battle of the divine, justiciar gym teacher, not even close, this is not How You School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 04:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12247389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTempis/pseuds/TheTempis
Summary: With little else to do, children served as incredibly efficient rumor mills.“Yeah, we don’t learn much, but the music is pretty dope.” Zoey bounced the ball over to Dora.“Mr. Chance sounds cool.” Dora passed to Lavinia. “Apparently we’ve got Mrs. Valamin’s son as a substitute today.”“Is that allowed?” Lavinia mused, bouncing the ball back to Zoey.Dora made a noncommittal sound.--Grade school AU, featuring Zoey-centric bonus chapter.





	1. Back In School

With little else to do, children served as incredibly efficient rumor mills.   
  
“Yeah, we don’t learn much, but the music is pretty dope.” Zoey bounced the ball over to Dora.   
  
“Mr. Chance sounds cool.” Dora passed to Lavinia.“Apparently we’ve got Mrs. Valamin’s son as a substitute today.”   
  
“Is that allowed?” Lavinia mused, bouncing the ball back to Zoey.   
  
Dora made a noncommittal sound.   
  
“I think I saw him- Skinny guy.” Zoey bounced the ball in contemplation. “Elfy.”  
  
“Like, knock him over with a feather kinda guy?” Anne approached the gathering, putting her hands out to receive.  
  
_“Ohmygod can we?”_  Dora turned.  
  
“ _No_...!” Lavinia protested, weakly.   
  
Tension flickered as Dora and Anne made eye contact. Their relationship was, in a word, dubious. Zoey passed the ball over to Anne.  
  
“ _No_ , that’s  _mean_.” Anne said, sweetly, bouncing the ball with a glint in her eye, “But we could take him. We could  _totally_  take him.”  
  
\--  
  
Mr. Valamin looked somewhere between gleeful and terrified. Earlier, Lavinia caught snips of Mrs. Valamin giving him instructions over the phone, and him going, _“Yes, yes, I see the fire extinguisher, It’s right over- I’ll be fine, mother.”_  
  
“He  _is_  tall...” Lavinia whispered in awe as he buzzed around the front of the room. She checked her phone one last time before shutting it off and putting it in her bag. Her dads didn’t like when she was out of touch, but she decided that she wanted to be nice to the Mr. Tall Elf and not make him do the cellphone thing.   
  
Lavinia looked over to Anne and Dora, who seemed to be sizing him up in their own ways. Anne introduced herself, and Dora gave him finger guns. Lavinia took a leaf out of her hair and made a mental note to give it to him later.   
  
\--  
  
The multiculturalism of the classroom shone through the most at lunch time. Alias was sitting at his desk, watching the kids perform their individual pre-meal rituals.   
  
The nixie, Theodora, wrote something down in a menacing book. Lavinia was singing a little song to herself, which she seemed to be making up as she went along. Anne set a cookie on fire, which jolted Alias out of his seat, but it was burnt and gone in white flame before he could do anything about it.   
  
Cyldiel had pointed her out in the class picture during his ‘briefing’-  _“Her name is Anne, she’ll tell you that.”_  She had run through all of the students, drawing particular attention to  _special cases_  and what they were capable of.   
  
Alias had spent the morning on edge, but things were going relatively well so far.   
  
\--  
  
Mr. Chance pulled up to the Valamin class door. What he found, when he looked in, was a tableau of a crime scene. Tiny sleeping bodies littered the floor, frozen in mid-action. Some were asleep in their food, while others seemed to have collapsed in the middle of a lunge. At the front of the room, Cyldiel’s son sat with one hand on the fire extinguisher, and the other holding up his head as he surveyed the class. One of the curtains was singed.  
  
Chance knocked on the doorframe and Cyldiel’s son-  _Yup, he got it from his momma--_  took in a breath, held it for a moment, and then spoke.  
  
“...I fully admit that I panicked.”   
  
Mr. Chance made the rounds, helping get everyone up and out the door to the shared gym period. He talked with Cyldiel’s son-  _Mr. Valamin-_ \- about today being music day for the class. Of course, every day was music day with the right attitude.   
  
\--  
  
Rolen did not flinch at the sudden influx of bees.  
  
_“No flying!”_  He shouted to the back, where Zoey was attempting to hover subtly above the ground for the rest of her laps.  
  
“Oh,  _come on_.” Zoey groaned as she landed, bees flying out of her gym uniform.   
  
“You’re doing fine.” Rolen assured, as Zoey started padding along again. She fell back into pace with Lavinia, who was quite pleased with the bees.   
  
“Vinnie,” Zoey wheezed, “Do you know why normal people don’t teach gym?”  
  
“Because they’re not qualified?” She wheezed back.  
  
“Because they’re not _fools_.” Zoey seethed, cursing every low-stamina bone in her body.   
  
\--  
  
Anne watched the scene unfold from a distance.   
  
“She did it!” Tamsin hooped.   
  
_“I did not!”_  Emma huffed in indignation.  
  
_“Easy, Easy...”_  Jayne soothed the raging twins, tossing a hostile glance at Rinaldo, the other yard monitor. He did not seem to be invested in the situation beyond moving away from it’s immediate area of sound.   
  
“Who done it?” Lavinia pulled up beside Anne, taking in the view.  
  
Anne narrowed her eyes, giving it a moment of hard contemplation.  
  
“At least one of them.” She said, self-satisfied.   
  
Lavinia accepted this, and they began to mill around the yard together. They talked about dogs they saw recently, as well as other fuzzy animals. They were making their way over to where Zoey was, who seemed to be engaged in conversation with the new student, when Lavinia saw a smear of blue dip into her peripheral vision.   
  
She turned to see Dora, standing with a saggy balloon in her hand and a smirk on her face. Lavinia had no time to give a proper warning before Anne was hit with the water balloon. She stood for a moment, soaking wet.  
  
“Oh _no_...” Lavinia whispered as she saw Anne light up.   
  
“Vinnie,  _I love you so much ok_ , so back away.” Anne papped a hand on Lavinia’s shoulder.  
  
Lavinia made a sad little sound. She walked backwards, keeping an eye on the two of them, and things escalated very quickly. Soon, there was a lot of water, a bit of fire, and some steam.   
  
“Eat a butt!” Anne yelled her battle-cry as she hurled flames at Dora.  
  
“ _You_  eat a butt!” Dora responded while she blasted water back at her.   
  
They gathered student attention quickly, and soon some of the teachers were out, observing and performing damage control.  
  
_“Get back!”_  Mr. Hawklight shouted as the students gathered around him, ushered by Rinaldo. The triangle token next to Mr. Hawklight’s whistle glowed as he threw up a shield around the kids. Jayne shifted into her dire wolf form and ran up on Anne, grabbing her by the back of her shirt and removing her from the flaming grass. The rest was put out quickly, but the earth was charred and soggy where they had stood.   
  
_“Puppy!”_  Anne said cheerfully as she was dragged away.   
  
\--  
  
_“Fire Bug, Water Bug,”_  Joan gestured to Anne and Dora, “What am I going to do with you two?”  
  
“It’s an honour thing, ma’am.” Anne said directly.   
  
“You know how it is.” Dora added, shrugging.   
  
Joan steepled her hands in reflection. Yeah, she could be honest with herself, she did.   
  
The three of them talked for a while about acceptable battle grounds. Both of them held firm in their vow to eventually destroy each other, but Joan managed to plant the seed of temporary ceasefire between them.   
  
“You’ll crease Mr. Valamin’s pretty face early if this keeps up.” She offered.   
  
They both considered this for a moment, with grave depth.   
  
“Aesthetics are big in Ghanny town.” Dora pondered aloud. Anne was visibly wrestling with her own hedonistic streak.   
  
After a time, they both spat into their palms and shook hands- holding eye contact all the while.   
  
They left the office, and Joan followed them out, pausing to say hello to Lita at the front desk.  
  
Joan watched the two of them disappear down the hall, having a conversation somewhere between theology and aimless ramblings. They both had a peculiar cleverness about them despite their dispositions. Dora was a terminally free spirit; And Anne was simple, but burning. This was not the first, nor the last time she would see them brought in.   
  
Alias approached awkwardly from the side.  
  
“Thank you for talking to them. I couldn’t-”  
  
“You helped.” Joan assured, patting him on the shoulder.   
  
\--  
  
“Yeah, they had a godfight again.” Zoey took a tired sip of her juice box.   
  
_“Golly.”_  Grace remarked. She was new, fresh out of homeschooling, and her world seemed to be getting bigger every day.   
  
“It usually doesn’t get that bad. Sometimes they just have word fights, calling each other scrub and stuff. They’re actually not that different, I think that they would get along if it weren't for... Y’know.” Zoey looked out the window at the scorched grass, slowly being brought back to life by the yard duty druid.   
  
“Wow.” Grace looked down at her sandwich thoughtfully. “Do they bring you into that kinda stuff? I-If you’re looking for something, the Triad is pretty good.” Grace took a bite and looked up again.  
  
“Nah, I’m the neutral party. If I were to pick anyone, this whole thing would go up in fla-  _uh_ \-- it would get really messy.”  
  
“That must be hard.”  
  
“Not really.” Zoey shrugged. “It’s more like not doing something than doing something. I don’t really know about that kinda stuff anyway, and if I did, maybe I would do it wrong and get the gods mad at me or something. Maybe there’s a ‘be myself and see who’s into it’ option.”  
  
Grace meditated on this for the rest of her sandwich. Both Anne and Dora seemed intense, but Lavinia was friendly, and she gave Grace a leaf when she met her. Zoey sat beside her in class, so she was easy to get to know. Grace could make friends here, slowly but surely.   
  
\--  
  
The class fished out their recorders as Mr. Goodwood made his way to the front of the room. Lavinia bounced in her seat, eager. She loved music, and her dads told her she was good at it, but she couldn’t be quite sure of their objectivity.   
  
“Good afternoon Mr. Goodwood” The class droned in phonetic unison.   
  
“Bold statement.” He replied.   
  
He took a moment, dourly producing a black recorder from his person. The class was silent as he counted down on his fingers.  
  
Three.  
Two.  
One-  
  
Outside, a great explosion of birds made their way from the discordant scream of hell itself.   
  
\--  
  
Lavinia pointed downwards with gusto.   
__  
“Apologize to the grass!” She huffed.  
  
“Sorry grasses.” Anne patted the ground.   
  
“Sorry dudes.” Dora also gave the fresh blades of grass a comforting rub.   
  
“I’m not good at being mad, but this has  _gotta stop happening you guys_.” Lavinia crossed her arms and pouted.  
  
“Boss lady made us truce, so we’re okay now.” Anne said casually, looking up from the ground.   
  
_“Really?”_  Lavinia lit up with hope.  
  
“Until Mrs. Valamin gets better, yeah. We’re chill right now.” Dora gave a demonstrative pat to Anne’s shoulder.   
  
“Why?” Lavinia started to radiate with glee.  
  
“ _For the greater good._ ” They said, in unison, both looking to the sky.   
  
\--  
  
Alias only started to decompress when he saw the last of the kids leave.   
  
He watched as a half-elf child introduced an aasimar to Dora and Anne, who seemed to be getting along reasonably well for the moment. Alias was confused by that, but he would gladly accept the peace for now. They loaded onto the bus, and could be seen through the windows chatting with each other.   
  
In the parking lot, a stern looking Mr. Earlin chaperoned his triplets into a van. Eulic, Yulik and Julick disappeared one by one under his cold surveillance. Julick turned to wave at a pair of twins, one of which waved back, before he vanished into the vehicle.  _What are the odds?_  Alias thought as the van pulled away.  
  
His eyes widened as he saw the car pulling into the parking lot. Alias cursed in disbelief as he watched Cyldiel park in a nearby space and get out, heading straight for him.  
  
“You should be in bed!” He met her halfway, looking her up and down to see if she was shaking.  
  
“You didn’t call.”She looked pale, much paler than usual, but she held firm.   
  
“I was going to...” Alias sighed.  
  
“Did you need to use the fire extinguisher?”  
  
_“Mother.”_  
  
_“Hmm?”_   Cyldiel narrowed her eyes, pushing closer.  
  
“ _Yes_ , I did, and I knew exactly where it was, so don’t worry about me right now. You should be resting.” Alias put his arm around her for support as he helped her back into the car.   
  
\--  
  
After a few days of absence, and an abundance of herbal remedies, Cyldiel was back on her feet. The kids were outside for lunch recess, and she stood by the window with her coffee. She heard slow, deliberate footsteps behind her, and turned around with little enthusiasm.   
  
“You’ve raised a good boy. I heard you checked back on the first day to see if he still had all his fingers and toes?” Joan took a sly sip of coffee.  
  
“He  _is_  a good boy. I can see he managed well here, the children seemed to behave themselves around him.” Cyldiel gave her best, tightly held, passive-aggressive smile.  
  
“We’ll see if it holds.” Joan smirked back.   
  
“Children are prone to petty fights and grudges.” Cyldiel brushed some of her hair behind her ear, looking out onto the yard.   
  
Outside, kids were moving around at different paces. Some of them were in the air, while others yelled after them in a game of tag. A little circle of druids were playing with the grass. Lavinia and her little group were bouncing a ball back and forth, talking among themselves.  
  
“Some are not so petty. But, we learn to manage, as we mature.” Joan looked out to the little group, watched it, and probably waited for hell to break loose. She took another sip, and looked back over to Cyldiel.   
  
Cyldiel blinked, slowly, and found the inner peace to clamp down on the words she would prefer to say.  
  
_“Indeed.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please imagine Joan in a pair of dense sunglasses for the daylight hours, in the design of your choice. There are mechanical errors in this fic that I know of, and probably even more that I don't, so bear with me.  
> Schools are much more a setting of convenience than educational establishments in anime, so I'm relatively comfortable in taking these wild liberties. I take the Dice Funks, I put them in a big ol' soup.


	2. Afterschool

As soon as Rolen started walking towards them, Veltari began to rush her speech.  
  
“-So feel free to _Drop_  in on a game, if you like.” Veltari said, jovially.   
  
Drop blinked at her and nodded.  
  
Rolen cleared his throat, quite loudly, and Veltari pretended to just notice him. Drop turned.  
  
“Oh, do you have it too?” Drop asked, in his slow way.  
  
“...Have what?” Rolen raised an eyebrow.  
  
“There’s a thing going around. Well... there’s always a thing going around. This one has a fondness for the throat. Children are very...  _germ-heavy_  beings.” Drop paused for a moment, fishing a handkerchief out from his pocket before hacking into it gutturally. He pulled away, scrutinizing the cloth.  
  
 _"That's new..."_  He muttered to himself, folding it up again.  
  
"At least think about it, y'know, see how you feel." Veltari gave Drop a chummy pat on the shoulder, which he endured.   
  
Drop nodded again, and turned to walk away. Veltari made motions to follow after him, but Rolen placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned, sheepishly.   
  
“This school has been...  _Very_  lenient with your poker games.” Rolen whispered harshly, loading his words.   
  
Veltari had been hosting a table in the janitors closet for a number of months. Joan was looking the other way, but when she wasn’t, she was playing. The two of them got on like a house on fire, for better or for worse.   
  
“Yes!” Veltari chirped back. “I’m grateful for that every day.”  
  
Rolen let out a gusting sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Just... Don’t make it worse. That’s all I ask.”  
  
Veltari was about to speak when a crash sounded from down the hall. They both turned towards a flurry of flower petals and butterflies as it came bursting through the doors. Through the storm, Rolen could see Zoey ripping her way down the hall and out the front entrance. Outside, he could see the last bus driving off in the distance. Veltari made a sympathetic sound as Zoey sped after it.  
  
Rolen turned to the immediate area of damage.   
  
“I’ll take care of…” Veltari gestured out towards the newly pinkened hallway. The flower petals would go away in time, but for now they would need to be managed in case someone slipped.   
  
“...This.”   
  
Rolen nodded. Veltari did not hide that she was glad to be off the hook. He rolled his eyes and breathed out, making a long-suffering sound as Veltari walked away. When he turned to go back to his own business, he saw Zoey coming through the doors again, petal mush stuck to her feet. She was walking slowly, with her head down. He watched her dip into the office, and heard faint bits of her asking to use the phone.   
  
\--  
  
Rolen saw her again, waiting outside in the rain. He hadn’t looked at the time, but it seemed to have been a while since she made her call. She was poised, waiting under the shelter of the school entrance.   
  
“Zoey?”  
  
“Oh, hey.” Zoey looked up, sounding slightly absent.   
  
“You missed the bus?”  
  
 _“Mmm._ ” Zoey made a resigned sound.  
  
“Does this happen... often?”  
  
“I mean, yeah. It rains sometimes,” Zoey said casually, looking to the clouds, “Nature and stuff.”  
  
“That’s not...” Rolen let out a breath. “Will your parents be here soon?”  
  
Zoey shrugged. Rolen’s face rarely betrayed him, but he winced at that, just a bit.   
  
He stood with her for a while. When the rain began to pick up, he brought her inside, and they sat in a classroom that looked out on the parking lot.   
  
\--  
  
He waited with her, that day. They talked about the time she turned into a toad, what it was like to be smaller than a sneaker, and experiencing abrupt dietary changes. She was not lacking fortitude in any way- _Over-tested for her years, if anything,_  Rolen thought.   
  
“Checkmate.” Rolen moved the piece into position.   
 _  
“This is child abuse!”_  Zoey groaned.   
  
“You’re getting better-” Rolen offered, but was cut off with some intensity.  
  
“I am not! I’m getting worse!” Zoey put her head in her hands,  _“My brain is pouring out my ears. This is how I die.”_  
  
“One more round for today-”  
  
 _“No.”_  Zoey stood abruptly and began to limp towards the phone. “I’m calling the FDA-”  
  
 _“-What?”_  Rolen followed briskly behind.   
  
“I’m calling CBC-” Zoey lifted the receiver and began to, authoritatively, mash buttons at random.  
  
 _“That’s not-”_  
  
“I’m calling NCIS-”  
  
Rolen lifted the phone from her hands and put a finger on the hook switch, but Zoey persisted regardless.  
  
“Hello RCMP?” She shouted, attempting to either wrestle the phone out of Rolen’s hands or climb him, “My gym teacher is a  ** _huge nerd._** ”  
  
  
Rolen managed to peel Zoey off of him, in time. He made some phone calls of his own, eventually arranging for Zoey to ride back with Veltari, who  _very much owed him a favour.  
_  
\--  
  
“Holy  _shit_.” Zoey stared.  
  
It was a vehicle with...  _character,_  and fuzzy dice in the window.   
  
 _“Language.”_  Rolen warned.   
  
Veltari laughed as she made her way around the car to where they stood.   
  
“Sorry. And, uh, thank you. Both of you.” Zoey held herself awkwardly, worrying at her shirt sleeve.   
  
“Not a problem.” Rolen assured, giving her a smile.   
  
“Yeah, I’m sure Rolen was thrilled to have a captive dragon chess buddy.” Veltari clapped Rolen on the shoulder.   
  
“And  _I’m_  sure Veltari will be available in case you ever need a ride again.” Rolen gave Veltari a friendly look, with some smugness around the eyes.   
  
With that, Veltari threw herself into a passionately corny valet routine, bowing deeply as she opened the car door.   
  
 _“Madame.”_  
  
Zoey got in with her own comical flourish, giving Rolen a wave as they pulled away. Questionable music blared behind them as they drove off. The rain had stopped and the leftover butterflies came out of hiding, vanishing into open air. 


End file.
